Misc weapons/9
From Discworld MUD Wiki
Misc weapons are a type of weapons on the Discworld MUD that use the fighting.melee.misc skill.
For the list of pages about misc weapons see Category:Misc weapons.
Weights that are confirmed to be accurate are listed in bold.
Links to other weapons tables:
- Melee ~ Axes | Daggers | Flails | Heavy-swords | Misc weapons | Polearms | Swords | Maces
- Ranged ~ Fired | Thrown Weapons w e < Shields w e > < Armours w e > < Scabbards >
Go to strength: 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | base
| Weapon | Weight (lb) | Hands | Judge overall 9 str | Judge attack 9 str | Judge parry 9 str | Judge speed | Judge maximum damage | Judge average damage | Commands |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bamboo reed pen | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10  10 Extremely fast | &&+1  1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Barbed quill | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+2  2 Very low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Bell | &&&&+5 5/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | |
| Black silk umbrella | &&&+45 5 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+7  7 very quick | &&+6  6 Quite low | &&+2 2 very Low | bash |
| Black umbrella | &&&+18 2 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+2 2 Very low | bash |
| Blue banded stake | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4  4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | stab |
| Bone stylus | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Borogravian bread stick | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+8  8 Fast | &&+5  5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | Bash, Wildswing |
| Brass banded stake | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | Stab |
| Broken beer bottle | &&&&+5 5/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+2 2 Very low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Slice Stab Behead |
| Broken bottle | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 extremely fast | &&+1 1 extremely low | &&+1 1 extremely Low | Slash |
| Butterfly net | &&&+20 2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Carved ebony stake | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Carved oak stake | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Cheap and nasty switchblade (closed) | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Chisel | &&&+11 1 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+6  6 Quick | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | Slash, Stab |
| Collapsible steel baton (collapsed) | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Combat muffin | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+3  3 Rather Low | Bash |
| Crochet hook | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 extremely fast | &&+1 1 extremely low | &&+1 1 extremely low | stab |
| Dictionary of Cussing | &&&+30 3 3/9 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+6 6 Quick | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | Wildswing |
| Docker's hook | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Double handed sickle | &&&+55 6 1/9 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+4  4 Slightly slow | &&+8  8 Quite high | &&+5 5 Pretty Low | Slash Pierce Slice Impale Behead Wildswing |
| Dwarf cake | &&&+20 2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+3 3 Rather low | Bash |
| Elegant black fountain pen | &&&&+6 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Enamelled calligraphy brush | &&&&+4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+3 3 Rather low | Bash |
| Etched golden chopsticks | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Family sized Magrat loaf | &&&+25 2 7/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+8 8 Fast | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | Bash |
| Flatiron | &&&+55 6 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+6 6 Quick | &&+2 2 Very low | &&+1 1 Extremely Low | bash |
| Frying pan | &&&+45 5 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+7 7 Very quick | &&+7  7 Reasonable | &&+4 4 Low | bash |
| Genuine Mystical Healing Brick | &&&+36 4 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | None |
| Glass shard | &&&&+4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Slash, Stab |
| Gold plated dinner fork | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Gold plated salad fork | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Gold plated shrimp fork | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Gold plated soup spoon | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Gold plated dessert spoon | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Green glass shard | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Slash Stab |
| Green glass stylus | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Half-brick | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Bash |
| Hand crossbow bolt | &&&&+4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Hatpin | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Holy water-soaked whip | &&&+20 2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+2 2 Very low | Lash |
| Hooter of death | &&&+20 2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Humble wooden calligraphy brush | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+3 3 Rather low | Bash |
| Hundred year old egg | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Iron chain (held) | &&&+35 3 8/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9  9 Very fast | &&+8 8 Quite high | &&+4 4 Low | None |
| Iron chain (wrapped around fist) | &&&+35 3 8/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 Very fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | None |
| Jagged stake | &&&+12 1 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+3 3 Rather low | Stab |
| Lancre mint cake | &&&+20 2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+7 7 Reasonable | &&+3 3 Rather low | Bash |
| Leather whip | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | none |
| Long brass banded stake | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+3 3 Rather low | Stab |
| Long pine stake | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | Stab |
| Marzipan dinner fork | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Marzipan salad fork | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Marzipan shrimp fork | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Marzipan soup spoon | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Metal chopsticks | &&&&+8 8/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | Stab |
| Meteor | &&&+30 3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 very fast | &&+7 7 reasonable | &&+2 2 very low | Bash Smash Crush |
| Moose antler | &&&+90 10 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+2  2 Very slow | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Smash Crush Wildswing |
| Multi-gravel loaf | &&&+25 2 7/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 Very fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+2 2 Very low | None |
| Nail file | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Old leaky quill | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Pen (woodworking) | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+6 6 Quick | &&+8 8 Quite high | &&+2 2 Very low | stab |
| Parasol | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | None |
| Pin | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Plank with a nail in it | &&&+30 3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 Very fast | &&+2 2 Very low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab Bash |
| Plume | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely Fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Poker | &&&+30 3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 Very fast | &&+8 8 Quite high | &&+4 4 Low | stab |
| Potato peeler | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | slash stab |
| Pruning shears | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | stab |
| Quill | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+6 6 Quick | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Riding crop | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Bash |
| Rolling pin | &&&+30 3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 Very fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+3 3 Rather Low | bash |
| Rubber chicken | &&&+12 1 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Smash Crush |
| Rune-covered sickle | &&&+40 4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+5  5 Rather quick | &&+5 5 Pretty low | &&+2 2 Very low | Slash Stab Wildswing |
| Sai | &&&&+7 7/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+2 2 Very low | None |
| Satsuki shears | &&&&+6 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Saw | &&&+40 4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+7 7 Very quick | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Hack |
| Seagull feather quill | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Senssu fan (closed) | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Bash |
| Senssu fan (open) | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+2 2 Very low | Slash, Stab |
| Sharp scissors | &&&&+6 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Sharpened sai | &&&+12 1 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+4 4 Low | Stab |
| Short bread stick | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Short crude stake | &&&&+5 5/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Short oak stake | &&&&+8 8/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Short wooden stake (misc) | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Sickle | &&&+40 4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+7 7 Very quick | &&+6 6 Quite low | &&+3 3 Rather low | slash stab |
| Silver chopsticks | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Silver fountain pen | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | stab |
| Silver sickle | &&&+25 2 7/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+9 9 very fast | &&+2 2 very low | &&+1 1 extremely low | Slash, Stab |
| Skipping rope | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+8 8 Fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Wildswing |
| Sleek throwing loaf | &&&+10 1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+2 2 Very low | Bash |
| Slim ash stake | &&&&+8 8/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Slim crossbow bolt | &&&&+6 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Small crossbow bolt | &&&&+4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | stab |
| Small handwritten sign | &&&&+2 2/9 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Small silver needle | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Soap crayon | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Sock with half a brick innit | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Bash |
| Souvenir fountain pen | &&&&+2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | stab |
| Sturdy purple plume | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely Fast | &&+2 2 Very low | &&+2 2 Very low | stab |
| Switchblade (closed) | &&&&+9 1 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+4 4 Low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Teeny straight razor | &&&&+4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | slash |
| Thin paintbrush | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Bash |
| Ukulele of pain | &&&+20 2 2/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | none |
| Ventriloquist's dummy | &&&+50 5 5/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+6 6 Quick | &&+8 8 Quite high | &&+2 2 Very low | none |
| Voodoo rattle stick | &&&&+7 7/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Wax crayon | &&&&+1 1/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | None |
| Wild boar tusk | &&&+15 1 6/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+3 3 Rather low | &&+2 2 Very low | |
| Wire cutters | &&&&+3 3/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &+10 10 Extremely fast | &&+1 1 Extremely low | &&+1 1 Extremely low | Stab |
| Wooden board | &&&+40 4 4/9 | 1 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+7 7 Very quick | &&+8 8 Quite high | &&+4 4 Low | Bash |
| Worm Sword | &&&+63 7 | 2 | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&+4 4 Slightly slow | &&+9  9 Pretty high | &&+3 3 Rather low | Wormcommands, Wildswing |
| Yellow duster | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | &&&&+0 unknown | |||
| Weapon | Weight (lb) | Hands | Judge overall 9 str | Judge attack 9 str | Judge parry 9 str | Judge speed | Judge maximum damage | Judge average damage | Commands |
